I would place myself very firmly into the ‘middle class’ bracket (Guardian reading, well-fed Graduate), but I think I’d also fall quite conclusively into the lower end of the bracket (Comprehensive school educated, ordinary housing estate semi, re-decorating involves some Homebase paint and Argos furniture every 10-15 years). Now, obviously, I can’t comment on whether people in the upper end *do* do those things, but I’ve read and re-read the list several times and I can’t think of a single one of those that *I* do. I do indulge in a very great many of the activities (eg, being a member of the NT, reading the Guardian, using complicated vocabulary from the depths of my lexicon) but the various caveats don’t apply (ie, Not giving to better charities, agreeing with the Mail, just for the hell of it [although I did do it for the hell of it in the previous example, normally I use longer words because they have a meaning I can’t convey in shorter ones]).

Does that make me middle-class or not? Am slightly confused and have lost sight of the point I originally came here to make. Perhaps it was more suited to JTA’s post anyway, I’ll go and make it there when I can remember what it is… :-S

The kind of gardening that never produces food.

Having a garden can just be a nice hobby, can’t it? It’s a time-killer, requires some creativity, and your care and attention can have satisfying results which benefit the environment, both ecologically and aesthetically, of those around you. Most hobbies can’t produce food, or anything useful at all, so indulging in one which could without doing so is only as much of a sin as practising photography or cross-stitch, surely?

That said, I’m probably biased.

Well, Matt keeps referring to it as “Middle Class Milk” anyway…

i agree with claire about the gardening. I can’t stand the idea of a hobby garden, but grew,and ate lots of vegetables last summer, just because i wanted something to do.

And also I disagree with about half of them- if internet wasn’t costing me 8 dollars an hour in this little town I’d take you to pieces. But in summary-
“blah blah I’m right, blah blah you’re wrong. And you’re the most middle class person I know.”

QED

p.s. Another one for your list: “people who insist latin is a language, and not a conspiricy against the common folk.”

Also, of course, it’s traditionally a thing done by people with big houses who want a pretty garden to wander round under a parasol…

O, and I had a question on

Having an open fire in a room so big you need the central heating on as well

I don’t know about that. We had that at Hadley, because some goon had knocked two rooms together back in the 70s, and we had to have the central heating on because they’d at the same time as making two rooms into one huge one taken out the fireplace at one end. Divots.

And central heating does more than one room. So we’d have the heating on to try and keep the heat in the rest of the house, and burn whacking great chunks of pine and the like to keep the big room nice and cosy. (No, we called it the Big Room. Mainly because that was how I started describing it when I was, I dunno, some sort of toddler, or something).

Regarding forks: I like the bit in Pretty Woman where Mr. Morse says he can never remember which, and just eats with his fingers. Although Hector Elizondo’s character is better for giving me the warm fuzzies. [You can balance this bit by imagining I wrote some more stuff about some football match, or something]

“Reading the Guardian/Telegraph but secretly agreeing with the Mail.”

If that was meant to be directed at JTA and myself then you seriously don’t understand us.

The only one I can be arsed to take issue with that hasn’t already been commented on is:

“Shopping at charity shops and at Debenhams, but never at Matalan.”

Now, I own several items of clothing from charity shops and lots from Debenhams (and again, I worried that this one was pointed at me since I don’t know of anyone else of our acquaintance who regularly buys from there). I have never been in Matalan (although I have bought clothes from similar places in the past). The reason for this is not snobbery but simple economics. The jeans I am wearing right now cost me £8 from Debenhams. I expect them to last several years. Clothing from the Matalans of this world costs about the same (maybe a little cheaper) and, in my experience, falls apart inside six months.

I know.

I’ve seen it.

2nd: no, really, if you have room for a garden and you don’t grow any veg at all, you’re doing it wrong. If you have a veg bit and a lawn and a few trees and a few flowers, that’s fine. Using all the space for pretty is when it becomes a problem, especially if you’re trying to grow some random exotic plants that use lots of heat and water (bad for the environment) when you could be growing carrots.

3rd: Nope, I don’t think that Ruth and JTA are secretly Mail sympathisers. That’s why I put that caveat on the end, so you wouldn’t think I meant you. Or so I thought. And yes, Matalan clothes can be quite crappy, but you just have to pick and choose: don’t buy going-out clothes there, only T-shirts, jeans and underwear. I like Debenhams too. It’s refusing to go to Matalan because poor people go there, that bothers me. I don’t think you do that.

4th: Jimmy: blah blah stupendous retort blah blah I win. And you can talk, Mr “daddy worked for a bank”. QED. Only joking, of course I’m middle class. I’m trying to identify what’s some people do to keep up with other middle class people, not pretend that I’m somehow working class and therefore better. Oh, the irony.

5th: Heather: if you only meet the first part then you’re doing it for the right reasons. I have a large vocabulary but I actually tone it down for most people because I don’t want them to think I’m showing off. I read the Guardian if any paper, but mostly my news comes from the BBC. So you’re middle class, but not in the annoyingly pretentious way.

6th, and final: JTA: I think in your case it’s not exactly your fault that there’s a big room you can’t heat that happens to have a fireplace at one end. But if you had been responsible for creating a room that’s too big to heat with fire, and yet insisted on a fireplace, it might count.

Wow, I didn’t expect such a response. Good going, people. I hear that Beth wrote something good about the working class disappearing and being replaced by a dole-scum underclass, which I think is exactly right. This post was meant to be just a light hearted dig at a few middle-class idiosyncrasies, not any sort of proper argument really. Thanks for taking such an interest!